jjk12

My sister has just finished detox and 45-day treatment program in another state. After a long weekend home to visit with her kids, she is back living with my brother and doing a transitional living program at the facility for up to 90 more days. She is sober and seems committed to her recovery.

She says she takes responsibility for the actions that led her to this point, but in the same breathe, she is quick to point the finger at everyone else. She's mad at the world. If you say anything to her that she doesn't want to hear or she interprets as "preachy", she gets angry and shuts you out. Her big thing is that no one has a right to judge her and that everyone else should be working on their own problems. She is extremely defensive, which makes talking to her difficult.

The main feeling I feel for her is compassion, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dealing with my own bouts of anger. At the situation, at her. She has definitely hurt me, but our relationship is so one-sided now that I don't think I could say "boo" without her exploding or cutting me out of her life. This definitely doesn't seem to be the time to do the "airing of grievances."

I naively thought she'd be more humbled and trying to make amends by this point. I want to give her the space she needs to recover, but I don't want feel like an emotional doormat either. I am doing what I can to get support: seeing my therapist, attending my church's addiction recovery support group, writing down my feelings, reading books ("Codependent No More" has helped the most), etc. But one thing I am really struggling with is dealing her unjustified (IMHO) anger.

What do you do/have you done in this situation?

Thanks in advance...