Seriously, I have no desire to drink or get drunk. that is certain disaster for me.
AA is a good program. the meetings are not the program, the 12 Steps are. They made sense to me over time, stress reduction, cleaning up the messes I made while drinking, becoming a more honest, ethical person.
I use Rational Recovery and AVRT these days. I have a better understanding of addiction. You might give AVRT threads a read. There's no need to be suffering or white knuckling it.
Love from Lenina