Hey Ultrabunny,
Shaking hands and drinking vodka at 9am .. my choice was whiskey and i think one of the worst times i had was a drinking session and complete blackout over 3 days in length.
I'm an alcoholic, always will be, the only thing that made my life get better was complete abstinance and then learning with how to deal with the world and its ups and downs sober. .
Thanks for posting , don't be a stranger , you're not alone with this .
Bestwishes, M