FenwayFaithful:
I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
Maybe now it's time to get off the elevator?
Your school should have some kind of substance abuse referral program. If you want to complete your graduate work, it will be very hard to do so drinking as much as you are.
As for feeling violated, you were violated. A man who takes advantage of a very drunk woman is violating her.
A lot of people who have substance abuse problems also get involved in toxic relationships, and from what I remember of you ABF, this was not a healthy relationship. Just as it is hard for you to really look at your relationship with alcohol and get to the conclusion that you need to get alcohol out of your life, you might want to take a look at your relationship with your ABF and decide whether it is a healthy relationship for either of you.
If you haven't read Drinking: A love Story, I recommend that you read it. The author went through much of what you are going through and she finally sobered up. It's well written and I think you'll relate to it on a lot of different levels.
Sorry to hear that you're bruised up, but also thankful that it didn't turn out a whole lot worse. Please let this be your big wake up call.
(((Slim)))