I think that which sticks out to me in your post is
"Lonely"..a need for normalcy..I found out that when
dealing with an addicted loved one, that one sane word
of normal is gone from our vocabulary.
Moving geographically only moves us to a different position
of body,not of mind.
I found that I had to change my mind about many things.
Firstly being what are my assets and working on them as
I knew my son wasn't there for me and I had to let go of
the idea that where he was could never be where I could be.
Do you like walks..talks..photo's..do you have other grandchildren
that perhaps have lost you along the way.
The important reality is to not lose yourself in any of this..take an
inventory of you..not them..work on the likes of your life..we often
will leave ourselves out as our focus is misdirected.
One small thing that you enjoy can turn you around..
At your grandchilds age, he simply will not see where you are
in life and your needs..this is where you step up to yourself
and do what needs to be done to help you become a whole
person.
It is difficult..it doesn't come easy..yet it does happen
and it can be happy..just let it come.
lauren