I'm not trying my hardest. I convince myself I am. If I was trying my hardest and wanted my family to stay together I wouldn't fall off so often.
I totally understand where he's coming from. Why would he want to commit for time or energy when it seems I'm not committed to stopping? I'm sure he feels he's left with no other option. My only option is to stay sober. Throw my entire being into this. Prove to not only him but myself that things can and will get better.