It is probably easy to romanticize your drinking. A great way to talk yourself out of staying sober. Myself, I had gotten so far away from any aspect of drinking that I could romantize, it was easy for me to not use that ploy.
I am sorry that your last sober experience was, as you called it, lonely and miserable. Being sober doesnt' guarantee happiness. Neither does just abstaining from drinking. The promise is in recovery from alcoholism.
I love my sober life. Might bore the heck out of a lot of people. But I don't drink. I don't make other people's lives miserable with my drinking. I don't miss my old life.
Hope you find the peace I have.