Originally Posted by katiedid722

Right now - my mind is going through the all too familiar scenario of the fact that I want to be a "normal" drinker. I'm sitting at work talking to my co-worker about her going on vacation to San Diego next week. She talks about the rooftop bar at her hotel ... they are going to have a couple drinks and see where the night takes them. OH HOW I WISH I COULD DO THAT!!! My wedding is a little over a month away, and I know everyone will be sipping on cocktails... getting to that pleasurable feeling after a couple, without the fear of going over the edge. I want that SO BAD. Why??? How many times do I have to prove to myself that I can't drink like other people? I go to lengths of even saying well - my fiance will just help me... he'll tell me when we need to go. He already told me that the stipulation would be I can't drink w/o him... then I made the proposal that i don't drink at all. It's been 37 days - the first time I lasted 6 months. It's been harder this time i think.