I'm trying to think of a way to put my thoughts into words...here was my experience in early 12 step recovery...
I didn't know what recovery and sobriety truly were, I only had my ideas about what they were. I thought that not drinking would make things better. Then I thought that going to meetings would fix things. Then I thought that calling people would make me feel less alone...etc etc
But for awhile just not drinking/using and going to meetings wasn't enough, I didn't feel good. I didn't know how to live. I didn't know or like any of the people who's numbers I had...I felt like I was supposed to be "getting" it, but I had no idea what "it" was or how it felt or sounded or smelled let alone how to "get" it.
In my area they referred to this as being a hot mess.
I'd go to two great meetings in one day, then leave one and halfway home feel myself spiraling...what was I going to do? where should I go? outside of a meeting I had no idea how to function, no idea how to deal with this mess of a life I'd created.
Finding a sponsor and working the steps gave me some direction and a track to follow until things settled down. I kept literature everywhere...in the bathroom, car, kitchen, etc...when I started feeling squirrely...I'd start reading.
I had pamplets in all my coat pockets. I'd just start reading, and my mind was reading the words and I was so confused that I had no idea what any of them meant, but it was something definite that I was doing that was related to my recovery.
that seems ages ago. Meaning, we DO recover! But I had to learn what it was, how it felt, etc.
the literature was a huge help, AND, I found one friend in the group and we made a habit out of talking to one another every morning. We had about the same amount of clean time, and we each had our own sponsors, but it really helped TONS to have someone that we checked in with every day, no matter what.