When my EXABF would hang out with his using buddies it pi**ed me off. I couldn’t figure out why. I thought…am I over-reacting? He's clean, just because his friends use doesn't mean he does. Am I being a nagging girlfriend, he needs friend right? I should back off and trust him right?
WRONG
It wasn’t until he was arrested 2 times in the span of 4 months and I discovered he’d blown several hundred (possible thousands) dollars on Coke.
My guess is if he’s still hanging out with friends who use he probably isn’t staying as clean as you think he is. Maybe he’s just more in control of it.
And if he IS clean then he WON’T stay clean for very long.
In my experience addicts are more likely to use when they’re drinking. And they are CERTAINLY more likely to use in environments conducive to using IE vacations and with friends they used to use with.
You 100 percent have EVERY right to be po’d at him. Every right in the world. If I was him and I was truly committed to being a better husband and staying clean I sure as Hell wouldn’t be running of on a vacation especially when I have no job and it’s with my druggie friends.
Don’t let him manipulate you into think you’re the crazy one. My EXABF did this time me and looking back it makes me SO ANGRY. I was RIGHT to be upset , as are you! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I can tell just by him saying “You won’t divorce me over this” he thinks he holds all the cards… show him he doesn’t.
I would tell him to pack his stuff and move out. He sounds like he needs a reality check and to grow the hell up. At least separate from him for some time. Let him work on his recovery, you work on yours. Let him see what it's like not to have you around. Sounds like he just EXPECTS you to stick around and take his crap.
My guess is you've taken more then enough lies and betrayal. I wouldn't sit back and let him put you through even more.
Sorry if this is harsh, it just makes me mad that he is talking to you like YOU are the one whose wrong. You so are not.