Originally Posted by
Kindeyes 
When I was really really ready to divorce my XAH, wild horses couldn't have dragged me back. You'll be ready to move on when you're ready......and not a moment sooner. There is nothing we can say that will make that moment happen. For me, it took a long time but once it did, it was like a light switch.
This was my experience as well. I had spent many years thinking I was the solution, I was the force he needed to heal. I wasn't, and I paid dearly for that delusion. Once the "switch" was flipped, I never doubted my decision. My loving HP surrounded me even in the darkest times. I personally have no place for Satan in my spiritual life, but if I did, it would have been
staying that kept me in He11, staying and not being true to my highest & best self. I was completely depleted trying to fix everything, working myself to ruin holding it all together. Once I made my decision, all sorts of things "appeared" in my life to confirm my resolve that this was a really bad situation for me and our daughters. There's so much pressure on all sides to keep the old battered things of a shaky marriage looking "normal" and yet now my new normal is nothing I would ever, ever give up.
Keep praying and know we are here for you, whatever path you take. Peace.