Of course you don't want yet another alcoholic in your home: entirely reasonable, not a B*$£@ at all.
and yes, ridiculous and stressful to listen to, I wouldn't put myself through that.
he clearly understands somewhat how I feel since he feels the same way with his mom yet it does nothing to help his behavior
I'd say he understands entirely how you feel but it doesn't matter in terms of changing his behaviour.
How do you feel about that?
can you accept that nothing you say or do, or don't say or don't do is going to make any difference to whether he gets help and makes changes?
how do you feel about that?
sorry for the questions, not asking you to explain yourself to me, but interesting things to think about.