Did they make lightbulbs back then??
Anyway at 52 I am dusting another one off.
Read oldest daughter of alcoholic, disengaged father. Even after 30 years in AA he is as shallow and transparent as a sheet of glass. I know I am the one who has sought approval my whole life but he is the one who has refused to give it.
His live in partner and I have become friends over the years and hearing the same things from her has validated the feelings I have had most of my life about him. It is her choice not to marry him as the purse strings belong to her. She is tired of giving and not getting, sharing herself and getting nothing back. Asking for him to share about himself and him refusing.
I have never been thin enough, pretty enough, well dressed enough or had a good enough life. Gee...when you grow up with that and keep trying and trying to get his A-OK self esteem issues would be the normal thing, not the abnormal. My dad is all show. Well dressed, handsome (even in his 70's), he always has a nice vehicle, he is funny (when you haven't heard the joke before) and very very social. But he is also a closed minded, judgmental, critical narcissist.
The reason this comes up is that he stayed with us for a week recently and I could feel the shift in how I felt. Much less dancing for dad and much more sadness for him and the way he lives. The 12 steps have kept him sober but he missed the meeting about compassion. (his inventory not mine...sorry)
Just thought I would share,
JT