MsPINKAcres

So you have come to the realization that your partner is an A and more than likely that person isn't going to change . . .so let's pack up, move up and move on. . .

Most of us know that is probably the best thing to do, but to be realistic it is not the easiest thing to do emotionally or finanically.

For those of you that struggle with this ~ I thought you might would like to hear my e, s, & h on this.

As we have a Hurricane in the Gulf it always brings the memories back to mind and I have these feelings to deal with - why not share them with my recovery SR family.

Shortly after Hurricane Rita in 2005, I realized that my then AH was no longer sober ~ the change in behaviors was evident, the recovery light in his eyes had disappeared and the old "ah" had returned with a vengence. Although he still attended meetings on a regular basis, I knew the truth and knew this is not what I wanted for my life.

I had a strong recovery program, set boundaries and he was crossing everyone of them. Financially I was close to be able to walk away, so I prayed to my HP and said "I'm ready, I want to be free" and with every thing that I know to be true - my HP said "NO, it's not time yet"

I continued my path of recovery - I worked very hard with my sponsor on grief work, on seeking my HP's path for me, on being content no matter what the circumstances, on seeing the reality of my situation ~

I learned so much over the next year & 1/2 ~ I learned that even tho my exah never hit me, it was still emotional & mental abuse, I learned that my worth didn't revolve around us both being in recovery, I learned that even if I had to sleep in a cardboard box on the side of the road - I was willing to do so to be out of that situation ~

Finally in November 2008, my HP answered my prayer and directed the path for me to be able to leave with no regrets, no second thoughts, no glances back - no what if's no shoulda, coulda woulda ~

I know that when safety is a factor, when children are involved - circumstances can be different ~ but I learned that it is not my place to tell anyone when or how their life should be lived ~ for if I had left when my exah relapsed after 2 1/2 yrs of recovery ~ I would have missed all that time of growth & learning my HP had in store for me ~

I truly believe everyone has their own path to walk - we are here to share our e, s, & h - to help them seek a way of recovery - to learn they have options, choices and the ability to have a different life ~ not to tell them what to do or how to do it ~

I often catch myself telling a newcomer or someone in a painful situation how they should just leave, or seek a better way - but it's not for me to know what is best for them ~

So to those of you who are in those situations, I just want to encourage you to truly seek your HP's direction, to open yourself to be Honest, Open and Willing to the guidance you seek. And my you truly find your Freedom and Peace as you walk your path!

When it is your time ~ I pray you will have the courage to take those steps - for me it has been worth every moment!

PINK HUGS,
Rita