Well, here is a brief update. I have been to four meetings this week, and they have been painful, frightening but ultimately positive. So many people have offered help and have shared stories that are my stories too. I cannot explain the relief at knowing I am not the only one who cannot control their drinking at all. I think the relationship that ended mainly as a consequence of my drinking is over for good...but I am proud that for the last six days I have dealt with that hurt without a drink. It has been so painful at times...but break-ups are aren't they? I need to learn to deal with normal feelings in a less abnormal way. I really believe I am on the right track...and I have NEVER felt like that before. I have also been reading all the posts here...they strengthen my resolve when I am feeling wobbly..which, at the moment is a lot of the time. Thank you. i hope one day I can give back what has been given to me over the last few days.