Someone said in a meeting at work yesterday that so and so "drank the kool-aid". That one statement stayed with me all night and this morning, because that's exactly how I felt. I drank the kool-aid over and over again. And when I finally started to come out from under the effects of the kool-aid, the ex quickly changed tactics from loving husband wanting to work on a reconciliation to full blown dry drunk (at least he told me he wasn't drinking). All his resentments came pouring out of him - things he perceived me "doing to him" over the course of our relationship. And emphasis on perceive. He was on a roll, and for good measure threw some scriptures in there justifying divorce - that God has called upon him to "be free". It was truly madness, and again I am grateful I waited so this time, all I had to do was walk out the door, get in my car, and drive away for good.
That was 15 months after I moved out of his house because of his alcoholism. Finding emotional sobriety can take a long time for many. Apparently for my ex, 15 months wasn't near enough time, and also the realization this may be the best it gets.
Just proceed cautiously. She hasn't been sober long enough to make any significant changes yet. She may be riding along on her pink cloud right now, and that's a phase that doesn't last.