Good Morning All, Well today is going to definately be day 1 for me again. Yesterday was a rough day. I was very stressed out and exhausted from lack of sleep and pain all over my body. I dropped off my daughter (17) at office max to buy her school supplies while I did some errands. During said errands ,I ended up buying 3 small bottles of sutter home. I felt guilty but my PMDD and lack of sleep took over me . I usu can drink this amount and be ok but I guess my exhaustion and the fact I drank them in a 2 hour time span between 4:30 and 6:30 did not help. I picked her up and on the way home we stopped to check the mail and she asked me "Why are you talking like that?" I immediately panicked. "Talking how?" I responded. " You're slurring".. she answered. I immediately defended by saying I had gotten no sleep the night before and was completely exhausted. I don't know if she bought it or not. But it sobered me up and I did not buy any more wine. I forced myself to eat a sub I had bought, finished some laundry, and lied down. I also signed her school forms for the new school year. I ended up lying down and having to take a sleeping pill at 10 and not falling asleep till 12. I did sleep better last night and woke up less foggy. This is mainly because I drank 3 small bottles instead of the 4 or 5 I had been having since Sunday night. I can't stand this anymore. It is like this spirit takes over me at around 5pm and I see red. I can't see past the gratification of that first drink. But yesterday was another wake up call. Even though it was a short distance we could have been stopped or in an accident. The fact that I was slurring probably meant I was already drunk and didn't realize it. I do not want to keep on giving this example to my daughter! I am just sick of doing the same thing and getting worse and worse results. I am going to try to force myself to exercise today and meditate if I can't get to a meeting. I apoligize for the long post. I am started to rely more and more on SR and the support and PM's I have been receiving have really helped me.