I think the wiser ones here will tell you you don't ned to have your full blown plan all at once. You don't need to know all the answers.
Maybe step one is just what you're doing. For me it was. talking talking talking. Finally talking and reading about it with people who understand.
Get the Codependent No more book, it changed my life.
They told me here to give myself the gift of time. I can make on small decision at a time.
They also told me to picture my life the way I wanted it, and to take steps toward it everyday.
There are all these little things you do and suddenly you find you have shifted your focus form on him to on you. You start seeing YOUR life, YOUR time, and managing it for YOU.
I say thats a great first step, to help yourself shift focus from trying to manage him to trying to manage you.
Hang in there.
Lots if hugs.