This is excellent information, thanks for sharing. My recent a-ha moment was realizing my exAH will never trust me. Never. And I had spent years busting my butt to try to be trustworthy. On top of that, he began to criticize me using the same descriptors he had used for past girlfriends. That was an eye opener to a bigger, deeper pattern here that I knew was not about me.
Android, there are plenty of women in the world who would have stayed home with you while you were sick, rented your favorite movies, and nurtured you in kindness. My ex wouldn't even come with me to put our old dog to sleep - he said the time was inconvenient and I should have checked his schedule first before accepting the only slot the vet had open for an euthanasia that day. I look back on those moments and thank God and the Universe for the opportunity to get as far away from people like that as I possibly can.
Life is so much better now.