Dealing with various problems including abandonment from a living alcoholic parent is very different than dealing with problems and abandonment from a dead parent. Hearing other teens talk about having difficulties with their LIVING alcoholic parent won't be very helpful. Unless there is an Alateen group which specifically deals with the death of a parent, I would be very hesitant to take the boy to a meeting where the majority of conversation will be about living parents. I would take it even further and call it torture for him to have to sit through anyone talking about how they wish their alcoholic parent would pay more attention to them, go to school plays or sporting events, and not yell or abuse them.
He'd likely give anything right now just to see and hear his Mom yelling at him again.
Originally Posted by
michelle01 
The best help we've had so far has been from the local school chaplain, but she has just retired, and so of course this could stir things up for him again. If need be I will consult more local services, but any advice on resources for him etc would be appreciated.
If the retired school chaplain is still living in the area, ask her if she would be willing to continue talking with the boy. Also check local churches and community centers for age-appropriate grief and bereavement support. The school board might also have a school psychologist available. Another source of help or at least information is also guidance counsellors at nearby high schools who may be able to point the way to local help options.