Helping a child affected
Not exactly sure where to post this, if it's in the wrong place please feel free to move it.
I would like to know if anyone knows some good reading materials/resources/kid websites for a 12 year old who has lost a parent to alcoholism/drug addiction. He has also witnessed domestic violence and various mental health issues during his short life. His mother became psychotic and violent herself towards the end as her mental health declined and at least on one occasion attempted to violently attack her own son.
Despite all this he still misses his mother and has confused feelings because when clean/sober her personality could be quite different. They did have a close bond. (Her death occurred about 3 years ago).
We live in a remote region, counselling services are poor. Many of them don't seem to have had much experience dealing with kids who have been through the experiences of my nephew. The local school and family services referred to us have unfortunately tended to be condescending and patronizing, neglecting the real issues.
Any help/advice would be appreciated. These things are of course very difficult to explain to a 12 year old, and though we try he probably needs to hear it from an independent source who isn't so personally involved/invested. And of course there are various things he probably doesn't feel that comfortable approaching us with.
On the plus side he is very bright, socially outgoing, athletic, able to articulate himself well etc. But now and then he seems to be 'acting out', having some trouble controlling his anger, insecurity issues, excessive attention seeking behaviour, etc. It may be his way of coping, but I worry re the consequences if he carries this into adulthood. Intellectually he is bordering on gifted, emotionally however he often seems to regress to a much younger age (at times though he can be the complete opposite, like a mini adult, then at other times very needy and immature). Our main advice has been to provide him with as calm and stable, structured environment as possible, which we try to do. My sister may be gone but he is still with us and as far as we are concerned, though it is sad she did what she did with her life, he is now the main priority.
The best help we've had so far has been from the local school chaplain, but she has just retired, and so of course this could stir things up for him again. If need be I will consult more local services, but any advice on resources for him etc would be appreciated.