Hi, Pinktee18. Good for you for making this promise to yourself and to your future. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, that is such a tragedy and so senseless too.
I'm remembering to take it one day at a time and to not crucify myself if I mess up because i can always start over again.
That sort of sets off the alarm bells for me, PT. We only have so many do overs in this line of work, and we never know how many until we come up one short. Like your friend, maybe? I have no way of knowing this, of course, but one thing I do know is that in order to succeed, getting straight and staying straight has to be the most solemn and committed vow you have ever made. Your life depends on it.