I'm almost in an identical situation. My bf and I had to have a hard talk about no alcohol for me if we end up in a social setting and others were drinking. It's not easy, and yes it does make you wonder, "maybe I don't have a problem". I'm glad to hear that you recognize for yourself that is your AV talking. I like the word AV- my sweet mom said when I start wanting a drink, to visualize my other favorite drink, Perrier water, but get creative. I'm trying to retrain my brain away from the old habit of wanting a drink every time I have hard emotions. I've only been sober as of a day ago. My bf and I are going to my first SOS meeting tomorrow night. I hope it all works out, I bet your relationship will get stronger with your sobriety.