Hi. Just wanted to share my experience. I've been married coming up 22 years. We've always drunk together and our relationship is and always has been a good one. ALL our social occasions revolved around alcohol. We had 2 kids, my drinking was heavy but ok ish. Didn't drink when pregnant or around them when they were little, but boy, as soon as they were safely tucked up in bed, I would hit it big time!
As they grew into teenagers something changed with our drinking. I know people say its progressive, and it's so true. We both stepped over that line into alcoholism. We would drink to blackout, and have to remind each other what happened the night before. It stopped being fun. We disappointed each other with our behaviour. I became distant and depressed. He drank because he didn't know how to help me. He got angry, I got more depressed. We both drank more.....
I made a decision to quit in March. He did not. He fought against it. I started getting better and he got more belligerent. He would practically sabotage my efforts to stay sober. Things were really not good.
Finally I caved in May. Just one night but I was totally wasted. Ugly, emotional, distressed. Didn't want to lose him, but couldn't carry on.
It shocked him. We talked a lot and everything was laid on the line that weekend. It really was make or break.
Neither of us have drunk from that weekend.
Our relationship started again as if we had met for the first time. We didn't know our sober selves or each other.
This is grown up and real and incredibly strong.
Getting sober is a tough enough deal. You need the support of those closest to you to get there xx