I think you are on to something when you are talking about having a ”long term view of myself as a "non drinker". It’s that idea of ones identity or self. I remember when I stopped smoking I thought of myself as a “smoker” for several years after I quit. I just could not think of myself in any other way. I was a smoker who did not smoke (if that makes any sense). In the end I came to understand that I am not defined by what I do. “I am not my title” as someone so elegantly put it to me one day.
Quitting alcohol was different. I had a hard time in the 3-4 month range. I drank time after time during that difficult time window. It was not until a change in “me” (my identity) took place that the change stuck and I could get past 3-4 months. For me this involved the beginnings of a focus on the welfare of others to the complete exclusion of my self-interest. Initially this only happened for very brief intervals, and it’s the only thing I can point to that had changed in me (at the time). It had to do with a shift in values, a more fundamental (albeit extreemly brief) shift in my identity. In a sense, it was a sort of “letting go” of self. AA helped greatly in that regard.