I haven't been there "before" but I am on day 65 right now. It's hard. It's really hard, but I WANT to be sober. I try to kick the "maybe I can drink" thoughts out right away with AVRT. I know that I simply can not moderate in any sense of the word. I keep thinking of all the terrible hangovers, the bad decisions, and the utter shame I used to feel when I was drinking. Now, my life gets better and better, and I want my life to always be this way. I wish you the best. Drinking will never be something that I get a long term good effect from.