Hey Bounced,
I have recovered through AA. Have 4 years of sobriety and am free from the obsession to drink. I have learned that simply putting down a drink is not enough for me. When I try that, things get better for a short time, sure. But then, as you mentioned, I start questioning what I am doing and why. "What's 1 drink gonna do?" That one always got me.
I give you credit for making it as long as you have. Couple of weeks without a drink and that voice in my head was screaming at me. I was restless, extremely irritable, insanely anxious, depressed and scared. I would get to the point that in order for me to maintain any normalcy in my life a drink was absolutely necessary. Alcohol was the only answer I had to those problems.
After Joining AA, I found a new answer. The 12 steps of AA have worked for me and millions upon millions of other recovered alcoholics.
Maybe it is your answer too. Have you sought out meetings in your area?