every time i get a passing fancy about how great it would be to have a few beers, i think about how it will feel good for about 2 hours, then unless i keep drinking, the buzz will wear off, i will get tired, prob go to bed, then wake up with the horrendous remorse you are talking about, then i think about how its so not worth it. so far that has worked for me. your sadness comes through loud and clear. its good, though, to see you post. i care about you, and pray you can get free!