Welcome ca and toast!!
To me, your post is the most important post I've read today, for it reminds me of just where I can be if I choose to drink today. For many, many years it was no longer a choice for me, I drank just to get through life.
Stating that you are on day one is HUGE!! It can be the beginning of a totally different way of living. There is much promise in staying sober, but little to be found while drunk and feeling like total cr*p.
I wish you strength, hope and the tenacity to stay close to SR and give yourself a new chance at life. Hugs to you both.