Liz,
I just wanted to show support for you. I'm sorry you are going through this. My last relationship was with a "recovering" drug addict who refused to go to NA or AA.
Eventually, I just could not hear his nonsense anymore. He would ramble to me about the changes he needed to make and he was always the victim. I'm not sure what snapped in me but my mind kept floating away. Sometimes I'd be so far gone he'd finally be like..."um..hello?" And I'd realize he was talking to me and be like,"oh. You were talking to me...I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere."
I just shut down and I felt this pull to return to myself. I needed me so badly. I kept drifting away from him and eventually I was gone. I thank my HP for pulling me away from that situation and pushing me into Al-Anon. That is the only thing I can think of that made my mind drift away during his quacking episodes. I was not trying to be rude, I just knew it was a bunch of garbage and I just couldn't listen to it anymore.
I hope my post helped in some way. I'm wishing you well and praying for you.
Love and Light,
Lily