Youre talking about powerlessness. I had a strong desire to stop and I have pretty impressive will power in most areas of my life. Problem was the obsession to drink always won out. Now Ive been sober for 4 years in AA and couldnt be happier. People recover in a variety of ways, but most find that just putting down the drink is not enough to get well. Usually it just causes life to suck even more, as you seem to be realizing.
I posted my thoughts on this in this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-problem.html