This is so similar to my situation. I have heard so many stories. I don't believe anything anymore. I helped for so many years but it has gotten me and my AS nowhere and things are worse now than ever. It doesn't help to help. It took me 17 years to realize this. My heart is broken but I have finally detached. The hardest thing I have ever done and it hurts everyday. Coming here has helped me enormously. My prayers are with you.