I agree with all the posters here. Only thing I could add is that when I am faced with a decision (of any kind) I ask myself "What can I live with?"
Do what you can live with. Retrieve (and sell the stuff yourself and keep the cash!), don't retrieve--do what you can live with and let it go.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am the mother of a young RAS and my heart goes out to you.
Wishing you a clear head and a calm heart. Blessings and peace.