Just galloping in here to remind you that being the mom of an addict is not for weanies!!!
You have done well. There is great wisdom in that slogan "just 24 hours at a time." Sometimes it is "5 minutes at a time!"
Yes, it feels like a funeral. But this too shall pass. Your troubled son may have some terrible fate. But that could have happened in your own home while he was living with you. It could have happened in the home that he shared with his brother. It sounds like you are going to survive this and thrive... keep coming back!