....but this is the hardest thing I have ever done. It feels like a funeral.
Yes, I can relate to the feeling of mourning someone who is still alive...I've felt like that for a few weeks now and I hate to say that part doesn't seem to get any easier. One just learns to live with it, I guess....put it on a shelf....while we go on with our lives. It feels like a part of my heart has been carved out and now its ability to contain joy is diminished. BUT...I AM still able to experience joy, hope, friendship, love, beauty, nature, spirituality, compassion, awe, wonder, ...and all of the beautiful things life has to offer. I am being patient with myself and allowing myself to feel the feelings when I can.... oppressive sadness can come over me in a flash and sometimes in the most inconvenient places. In the dentist chair today I was listening to my iPod while the dentist was working away and a special song came on ... it was all I could do to choke back the tears that wanted to flow. But when I got home I allowed myself a little cry.....and that's OK. Life goes on.
Thank you for sharing, Hope. I'm glad you're here. We need you as much as you need us. ((((Hugs))))