Thank you all for allowing me to share and get some of this off of my chest. Recounting all the horrible things that have occurred while drinking helps me. I am on the brink of losing everything. I can feel it. I don't have health insurance so I can't really go to a doctor but I don't feel "good" I haven't felt "great" in a very long time but I don't feel good.
Thank you all I am going to try to find another AA meeting. I will be back later.