It is known that I drink too much and I have lost friends etc. and destroyed every relationship with nearly every man that I've been with. Most people think that I would be the first to get married of my friends and I would most certainly marry a very successful man. I have dated many but it never works out. My last three boyfriends have all commented on my drinking.
But the one that I think convinced me the most was my most recent...
I had a dysfunctional relationship with another bartender. I would have never dated him if we didn't work at the same bar and never tolerated him if I were sober. He is a loser and I suppose we attracted each other because although things looked good on the outside,,, I was a loser on the inside...
He has refused to drive me home 30 min drive after work knowing that I was smashed and could kill myself or someone else. If he wasn't so cruel in other ways, I would have thought that was his tough love but I think that was part of it but I also don't think he truly cared about me. I think he was tired of it and just didn't care... Interestingly enough after the bar close our relationship was pretty much over. We would chat on the phone, he tried to move in with me because he didn't have a car and wanted me to take him to work... I had enough sense not to do that - I think I was sober at the time because of some diet I was on and he repulsed me. But I fell off that wagon and I picked him up last week for a day out on the town.
All we ever did during our entire two year relationship was drink wine, watch tv and have sex. This time we went to a couple of restaurants... I ended up having too much to drink (SURPRISE SURPRISE) and since I've recently got a DUI (not that it stops me from drinking and driving
)I wasn't sure if I could make the 30 min drive to his house and back.
I don't remember exactly but I took him to the train, he got really angry took my keys and threw them into an open field. It was midnight.
He ran to a cab, pushed me to the ground when I tried to stop him.
He sent me text messages telling me that I was an alcoholic and he sees now that alcoholism is a disease. And that is was my most recent wake up call.
I called the police, they never came.
I was at the train station so I found an officer on foot and he took a flash light and found the keys and asked why he would have done such a thing.
The officer knew that I was drunk and asked if I was ok, I told him that I lived across the street and I just prayed I didn't get stopped as I have gotten stopped many times in that area.
After two years of dealing with the wrong person for me. And numerous times of saying hurtful things to him when I was drunk and upset with him... And after him doing hurtful things to me it was that incident that made me realize that I may not be able to EVER drink again and that I needed to work on it NOW.
I might add far worse things have happened as a result of my drinking. I am lucky and blessed in many ways!