I am going to Al-Anon. I just started a couple weeks ago so I've only been to two meetings but I'm committed to going every week. It's already helped, as has this forum, so I'll keep going.
al-anon will be good for you and there is a saying about working at the recovery you hope they would do. your ah will notice the effort you make and the subtle changes in you that will come from that.
i went to al-anon, found sr and did 18 months of personal therapy before i found the strength to leave my ah. all that time, he continued to be in denial and to drink. he got in touch about 3 months after i left him and was sober a month after that.
Therapy, sr and al-anon helped me tremendously in becoming a happy, healthy spirited person and i can now easily say that i will never live with an active drinker again. i deserve to live a happy, contented life and these days i do and wouldnt have it any other way.
I am so fortunate that my ah has found sobriety, loves himself sober and behaves in a kind, loving way everyday. i do have enough self confidence these days to know that i come first and if my health declined due to his negative behaviours, and/or the drinking returned then i woulndnt hesitate to move forward on my own again.