It may not be the hug you want, but it's all I can do from here. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HEWHO SLEEPS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I do hope you stay with your grandparents, change your number, find a new focus and start respecting yourself again. The natural course of life can be struggle enough at times. You don't want or need this unnecessary burden. Find a group, go to school, get a hobby - read good material - anything - just find a new purpose in your life.
If you stay away, I believe you will respect yourself and have a new outlook. Please stay safe. I care.