Ziggy - the best advice I have to stop internalizing the quacking (if that is what you are asking about) is to realize that unless others in your life are offering the same criticism, anything that comes out of your A's mouth is a lie and/or a projection.
If you need validation, talk with a trusted friend or family member. Ask them to confirm or deny the criticism you are hearing. If they confirm it, then listen and realize maybe this is something you need to work on. If they laugh at you and tell you with an instant "no this is not something you do", then you know this is not about you.
My stxb RAH - he has decided we must divorce because I won't live with him. Notice how simple this sentence is? Notice is puts the onus squarely on my shoulders? It's simply not true, but when I look at it objectively, I believe this is a projection. He doesn't want to live with me. I frustrate the heck out of people who try to control me because I have strong boundaries and no fear of saying F-off (figuratively, sometimes literally). I don't buy his quacking and call it. I won't accept addict-spun lies and projections as my reality. He doesn't want to live with me; I no longer play the game. I don't believe his projections and lies about me because it is not my truth. I know my truth.
Ok, if that wasn't what you were asking...well...you got a seriously long answer anyway! Ok, ok, I've had two cups of coffee already! ; )