Holy cow it is unreal how similar they all are!!!! My mom and I don't have a fab r/s and she has some fairly serious mental health issues so XAH like so many others' X's on here LOVES to use that as a way to try and hurt me ( loved I should say bc it doesn't hurt at this point- just makes me pity him to be honest). But there really is nothing nastier is there than a man who insults and mocks the mother of his wife. Glad to know my XAH isn't terminally unique in this regard- its just another character trait I guess.
Getting by- I totally get what you're saying about replaying the tapes. I'm not doing that much anymore- used to all the time. Lately it's more like I'm seeing the name calling in a new light and finally seeing how ridiculous it is and actually found it useful to reflect on what he said yesterday and realize that I no longer believed any of the lies he spews at me. Used to be that I couldn't stand hearing him say terrible things to me (c*nt became a favorite of his over the past few years) bc I felt like if he said it then it MUST be true. Took me most of my adult life (thanks to a family of origin who behaved similarly) to realize that just bc someone says it doesn't make it true. And like so many others I realized in the past few months that no one else in my life except XAH and his family sees me as they do & that speaks volumes.