I know it’s hard because I’m codependent and terrified of being alone and that’s no reason to stay with anyone.
There are worse things than being alone.
For example, in my case, I don't miss my AXGF's lying. Or her gaslighting. Or her efforts to turn the tables back on me whenever I called her out on her BS. I don't miss her hypocrisy, her manipulation, her sadism. And I am thankful every day that she stopped hiding what she truly is, which is a sick, twisted, Borderline cancer. That made it easy for me to say to myself, "enough".
So, yeah, I'm alone. But I'm using the time I am alone to work on myself. It's a time for growth and for getting honest with myself about my tendencies and why I did what I did. But although I am alone, I'm not lonely.
FF, only you can decide to leave your ABF. And, yes, maybe you're truly afraid to do it. Maybe you truly are afraid of being alone. The alternative is living the way you are now. If you had a younger sister in your shoes, how would that make you feel? Wouldn't you want her to make better choices, or at the very least more sophisticated mistakes? Of course you would, but you can't make her want that for herself.
No one ever said doing the right thing was easy. Leaving your ABF won't be easy. But the payoff for making the right choice, the brave call, comes later. Trust me on this.
ZoSo