I do know how you feel sweetteewalls, as AXBF walked out on me almost 2 months ago and I have done nothing but cry since then. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. I feel dead inside, no joy, no happiness, just dead.
What I do know is that you have to let yourself grieve this loss. If that means crying, screaming, hitting a pillow, going outside and breaking something, do it. Have you found a way to let the anger out? How about running?
I did some anger management work with a therapist once and she said when you are angry at someone, examine your expectations of them. Yes, everyone likely would agree that when a man fathers a child his a$$ should clean up his act, go to work, and make money and take care of wife, home, and child. But that is often not the reality is it? There is sickness, great sickness, in this world where men abandon their wives and children but also worse. Where they come home drunk or on drugs or both and beat their children, create fights, yell and scream, bring home other drug addicts and smoke crack in your house. Mothers and fathers who take their children on drug deals with them. The point? It could be worse. He could still be there, drunk, doing all kinds of things in your house. Bringing STDs back to you.
I know you are angry and probably sad that he is gone. But think of the alternatives. Read all the other posts about what people are putting up with in their homes and their daily lives. Your home should be your sactuary, a place of peace. I don't know that I've heard of any alcoholic home being described as a place of peace. Without him there, you have the opportunity to make your home and your lives peaceful and serene. Get the anger and the nastiness he brought to you out.
One last thing. You said you have been going to Al-Anon. Do you have a Higher Power? Several times I have been so distraught, mind-racing, and I have called out to my HP for help and help came. My HP calmed my mind and gave me the strength to be able to not think about AXBF.
Anger is no good. Bad for the body. You have to actively take measures to get yourself out of it.