It takes a while. That surprised me so much when I gave up drinking 13 years ago. A year or so passed and I finally said, "this is GREAT!". But it took a long time. For me, I am starting again. Or, should I say, starting for the first time. I sucessfully stopped drinking and I'm very glad. I just kidded myself that drinking was the problem and continued dabbling in anything else I could find. This is a really bad idea. I also decided my AA meetings were a waste of time and for "weaker" people. I had too much to do --- work, marriage, children, etc. I have never been clean and sober for any length of time. I have to admit this and recognize that being sober is not the goal. Nor is being "clean and sober". Being clean and sober AND working a program is what I want to do. I'm so mad at myself for waiting this long. I realized this when my little son gave me a "double take" last night. The kind of look I gave my father for years. A look that looked once to express himself and then quickly back again to check the mood. Was she nice, normal, mad, you never know. I want to get clean and sober and working a program. Now. Help. I know it takes a long time and I know it is hard.