Originally Posted by
Seo 
Big book and Meeting really arent what I need, I just want a good old fashioned meal and be with my grandparents and people who made me feel sure I was loved from my childhood
A hot meal and a hug is wonderful, just not as a recovery plan.
At the beginning of your post you ask, "How should I get started?" then reject one of the options that could help. OK, so AA isn't for you. There are other methods, as Dee pointed out. But it all starts with ACTION.
Good luck.