If you are really serious...
...you will stop making excuses and you will make attending your first Alanon meeting a priority. Try at least six meetings, some different, before deciding if it is for you. Even if it turns out it isn't you will have made a huge stride towards improving your life and that of your children.
Your wife, and you are probably picking this up from the other posts, is fully responsible for her own recovery (or lack thereof). Not you. Not your children. Her.
Cyranoak