My counselor said almost the same thing LTD said. I was paralyzed and not doing anything because the choice I wanted did not exist. I didn't want any of the available choices so I did nothing - but that was a choice made by default and I got mad at myself for that
Also wanted to comment on Tuffgirl's thoughts. These thoughts (about the kids) also kept me paralyzed for quite some time. I think my kids are younger than tuffgirls so that makes a bit of a difference but as parents I believe we must move forward in what we think is right even if the kids don't understand. My kids did relax when away from the drama that was caused by *me rocking the boat* but I have to be honest - they did not respond to me or the situation well - at all. I know, as an informed adult, that living with an alcoholic parent is not healthy. I know as an informed adult that alcoholism is progressive and things get worse. I know as an informed adult that I was the only one that could take care of them and I was not going to be able to do that much longer if I stayed married. They did not see any of those things. They went a bit ballistic after that tumultuous and awful 6mos. I made mistakes but leaving their alcoholic father was not one of them. Things have since calmed down and are looking much better. They have a life now that simply would not have been possible had I stayed married. I don't think they really understand the big picture even now but I do and they are smart boys. They will figure it out as they get older.
I share this not to discourage you (or others reading) to leave at all for I do think I made the right choice but if we look at our young children and give them what they want in the moment - we may never leave. Young children, even those that are seriously abused, will often want to stay with the parent. It is just how it is. We have to do what we think is right - sort of like we give them vaccinations even though they scream and cry.