I felt meh for a long time Emily...I think a lot of people can feel meh too, whether they're alcoholic or not...I think it's especially so with those who are carers...and I know a few.
Maybe you should cut yourself a little slack...
You're the best judge of knowing whether this malaise is something passing you can deal with or whether you might need outside help...
The important thing is to remember a drink will not change anything here - although it might serve to make things worse.
You're also the best judge of how much danger this puts you in recovery wise,,,if you need support, look for it and ask for it Emily...
If you're like me, it's hard to do at first but...be your own best friend, Emily
Treat yourself gently
_
D