Originally Posted by
DefofLov 
Hi Transformyself,
What a nice feeling to have your crush ask you out. You must feel like a giggling school girl.
I know I would. Presently, I'm focused on me and I'm off the market and under construction. I really need this time to myself and for the first time ever, I'm taking it. But, it would be *extremely* hard for me to stay away from someone I actually liked for so long. So, I fully understand where you are coming from.
Here is a thought I remind myself of to prevent myself from seeking or allowing a man into my life at this time: "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." I am in NO hurry to get into a relationship. I am also worth waiting for. If a man truly desires me, then he will be a patient friend until I'm ready for more. In turn, I also need to be patient and wait for someone worthy of my time, affection, and attention. I can't allow myself to settle for any man that comes my way. Not saying that he is "any man." It's just for me I have to be careful to not let the hopeless romantic in me settle for any man...like I did in my past.
Just sharing my own experience. I hope it helps in some kind of way.
Love and Light,
Lily
I agree with this completley. Right now I have too much unresolved anger and self disgust and other issues to even think about dating. I need to get this divorce filed as soon as possible, and then I need a lot of time to work on myself, with my therapist, my intense workouts, a lot of time on the iron horse, which is to me the 2nd best therapy, my PCP so I can make damned sure that my emotional, physical and mental health are all in tip top condition after all the BS I dealth with in a quick 4 week period.
Like everyone here, I am not all that crazy about being alone, at 43, I have little interest in the single life anymore, other than using it to find someone who wants to get serious about a real relationship.....but I am currently in the process of completing my bachelor's degree, and I need another year and a half to do that, of full time school, I need to then use it to get a real career going once again, move out of this tiny studio which is fine for a single student, but sucks as far as having a family, and I just need to work on me for a while. I need to get in tip top physical, mental and emotional condition and only then will I be ready to find her, hopefully a non-alcoholic woman who I can do normal things with. A movie, a restaurant, normal vacations, bike rallies, exercising together, just renting a flick and sitting home with popcorn watching it. Life with this alcoholic consisted of sitting on a sofa at home watching her guzzle booze until 3am and it bored the you know what out of me. I still hold out hope to maybe even be married again, but I want it with a normal woman.