You need to wake up.
Take a look at what METH is and does. Go to a website like escapemeth.com and you will then stop romanticizing this man and you will instead begin to fear for the life of the innocent child at his mercy.
Rage, extreme violence, psychosis.
The prayer which is most needed now is not that he will come back to you, but that Child Protective Services get that infant away from him.
Educate yourself thoroughly about meth and your heart will stop its yearning for this man who in a matter of 16 seconds (the time it takes for meth to hit the brain) could decide to stab you to death.